Lectures by
Charlie Lutes:

Lectures by

Charlie Lutes

Charlie and Helen Lutes
Charlie & Helen Lutes - 50th Wedding Anniversary

"Many enter into marriage because they feel that this will make them happy, not realizing that this is a lesson world and we are in the process of learning how to live, and working from the wrong premise can make marriage a miserable experience."

                                                                                                           - Charlie Lutes

Marriage in Life

Marriage is one of the most important decisions one makes during their lifetime. Often, due to strong karmic ties, the decision is made for us. We just naturally seem to wind up in a marriage and not much effort on our part was required. On the other hand, one may struggle for a long time in order to affect their marriage with their loved one.

Marriage sets forth a series of events that often we have no control over. In marriages of love, they are made in heaven, but on the other hand, some seem to be made in hell. This is usually caused by free will not being used wisely. As the old saying goes “Marry in haste and repent at leisure” and this is particularly true in this day of everything done in haste. The more educated people are, the less likely they are to divorce, because they have the knowledge and training to work out their problems rather than running from them.

Marriages conceived on the physical level should grow to the spiritual level, and this is in accordance with nature. Understanding and education leads to intelligent action and decisions in marriage, and in many cases lack of it leads to abrupt and or violent actions. It is probably a good idea to have a law that after the marriage license is granted a waiting period of sixty or ninety days should be enforced. That way many undesirable marriages would never happen.

There should always be understanding and dignity in a marriage relationship. Further, many marriages are based on a material consideration rather than upon the spiritual meaning of marriage. History has shown that where a marriage or a society at large is based on materialism, that society or marriage is doomed to failure because it lacks the necessary esthetic and ethical qualities.

Both the male and the female are, at best, operating at far less than their ultimate potential, but at least they should try to elevate themselves as much as possible toward a spiritual way of life. In the early part of marriage the physical aspect is emphasized, but as the marriage matures into later years, the mental and spiritual takes over and companionship predominates. Over time the masculine side of the man softens and mellows and the female side becomes more positive. As a result very noticeable similarities develop between the man and the woman. This brings pronounced growth for both partners.

When the human spirit reincarnates repeatedly it alternates between a male and female form. This is natural because the spirit contains both male and female polarities within its own being. By alternating its reincarnations between the male and female form the soul gains a balanced growth.

Presently, there is too much emphasis on individual self expression and individual independence, rather than a melting of the two partners through mutual dependence and one giving to the other. Very often opposites marry each other and this is due to the subconscious realization of incompleteness; each individual needing what he does not possess. Often it is weakness seeking strength, or a desire to complement oneself. Where there is no contrast in a marriage the marriage can become very boring after a time.

One reason that a marriage becomes unhappy is due to selfishness in human nature. A partner becomes resentful of being imposed upon by the other half of themselves. Matrimony should not be a blind pursuit; rather both should enter the state thoroughly knowing one another. Sometimes deep temperamental peculiarities can, in time, result in incompatibility. Many enter into marriage because they feel that this will make them happy, not realizing that this is a lesson world and we are in the process of learning how to live. Beginning marriage from this wrong premise can make marriage a miserable experience.

The real meaning of marriage is for two to learn to live in harmony and achieve wisdom together, and to live comfortably where the husband realizes he is not here to simply die chasing the dollar. He needs to learn discipline, the controlling of the worst and the building of the best. Life has problems and a couple united in marriage in a common bond can help each other solve the problems as they arise. As a result both grow, because problems and adversities offer the opportunity for growth and achievement in life.

Happiness grows out of service and progress in life. Happiness also grows through learning to develop gentleness and kindness and spiritual insight as one goes along in life. Also, where there is willingness between a couple to work out their problems and balance their differences, marriages will work and not wind up a failure. And from this, a marital life of merit and pleasure and spirituality can be the result. Marriage can be heaven or hell according to how it is conceived and how much love there is between the partners.

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